The Killers Hot Sauce Taste Test

Jealousy, turning sauce into the heat
Swimming through hot sauce supplies
Choking on your hot sauce fries
But it’s just the price I pay!
Hot sauce is now calling me!
Open up my eager eyes!
‘Cause I’m Mr. Hot Sauce!

Yes, what you’ve assumed from that hot sauce-themed parody of “Mr. Brightside” that I myself composed is correct: the Killers have released a line of hot sauces, and no — I do not know why. Here’s how the Killers explain it on their hot sauce website:

First of all, thank you for getting involved with our hot sauce! We’ve been involved, with the idea at least, for years. You might say starting the band was just a means to make hot sauce. Yeah, it’s that good. Hotter than Vegas, and with four tasty flavors, it’s more than we thought we’d pull off, to be honest.

Made by hand, in small batches using only the finest ingredients like aged chilis, habanero peppers, cayenne peppers, hickory-smoked sea salt, and a dash of real sin from Las Vegas to make this most fabulous hot sauce on the market. So get ready, folks. Oblige your senses and pair with your favorite food and Killers records. DO IT! Your pals in music and sauce.

First of all, you’re welcome! And, okay, here are the facts we have related to why the Killers have made hot sauce:

  • The Killers have been involved with the idea of hot sauce for years.

Fair enough. Also on the site, the Killers suggest their hot sauce functions as somewhat of a live music alternative during the COVID-19 era, saying: “We aren’t seeing you on tour but it tastes like we sound.”

An interesting concept. But does it taste like they sound? Let’s find out by taste testing each of the four hot sauces contained in their hot sauce bundle, which comes in a cardboard boombox that confused me greatly before I realized it contained hot sauce.

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